


even the bad days are worth living through with you

by driedupwishes



Series: no power in the verse can take you from me [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefly Verse, Bad Days, F/F, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6220900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driedupwishes/pseuds/driedupwishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody's got bad days, Levi figured. People that had been taken apart from time to time and played with by the Alliance, well, they were allowed even more bad days than everybody else. But that didn't mean he was just about to sit back and let Eren struggle through a bad day all by his lonesome. Not when they'd created a couple tricks up their sleeves for days like this.</p><p>(Not when he loved him as much as he did.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	even the bad days are worth living through with you

These days the second Levi heard a shout, he took off running. He didn’t have the time or luxury to muck ‘round and let everyone else sort it out when all they wanted to do was ram their thumbs further up their own gorram asses and keep yelling. His only regret was that some parts of the ship were more resistant to raised voices than others, so from the cockpit he couldn’t hear the yelling going on in the hold until Hanji opened up the comm system and Jean’s voice crackled through the speakers at Armin’s elbow, scaring them both half out of their shoes.

Hanji didn’t have to say nothing, or maybe they did and Levi just didn’t stick around to hear it, he wasn’t sure and he didn’t care. He tore out of there faster than a bat outta Hell, twisting through the hallways and launching himself down the stairs, past the medical bay, where the voices became distinct, echoing round their metal home like a couple’a cranky birds Eren had pointed out last time they were strolling around Persephone’s bazaar. Levi almost jumped from the catwalk down into the holding area entirely, but broken legs or twisted ankles weren’t going to help him in this situation no matter how much he wanted to get down there fast as he could.

Hanji turned at the racket he made tearing down the stairs, as did Krista, who seemed to be wobbling between sides today with her grease covered hands clenched in front of her. Ymir was towering in front of Krista, leaning more toward Jean with a snarl but not turned away from Eren either, her hair curled and pinned back, cheeks red with anger. Annie was a step in front of Eren, who was pale and shaking, and Mikasa was in the thick of it all, snarling up at Jean as he gestured viciously in Eren’s direction, using his height to his advantage.

There was a gun and ammo scattered on the ground, a half filled clip and a snowfall of bullets beneath everyone’s feet. Jean’s stash in the hull, looked like, which would be the source of the problem. Levi swallowed back a wince, having an idea of where this had gotten all cocked right to Hell.

He couldn’t wait to get this gorram shitstorm sorted out so he could take a look at Eren’s fingernails. There ain’t been a crowbar unattended in the hull since they’d last been boarded and wasn’t one to be seen among the wreckage either. Those crates hadn’t just opened themselves, but since there was no blood in sight, Levi knocked it down on his list of priorities and strode into the fray.

“ _Everyone shut the ruttin’ hell up,_ ” Levi hissed, shoving Jean back a step from Mikasa, slipping behind her and straight toward Eren. Annie stepped out of the way, but slow like, such as there was a point to be made. Her eyebrows faintly rose, a motion that had Levi flashing back to a conversation in their kitchen, something he would’ve flushed about if he’d had the ruttin’ time. Instead he stepped up to Eren, almost toe to toe, craning his head to look up at the green eyed man towering over him, even though he was hunched over trying to look all small.

No one really _listened_ to his hissed order, which was a gorram shame. Made the air lock look pretty inviting. No captain liked a mutiny, ‘specially not ones with guns and ammo littering the floors.

‘Specially not the ones that put certain members of Levi’s crew in danger, neither.

“Eren,” Levi said. He didn’t touch the young man, whose complexion was drained, sickly pale in the lights of the hold. His eyes were brilliant, even in fear, with the edge of pain creeping in. Eren’s eyes weren’t focused on him, but Levi waited, trying to keep his head an even, quiet space when all he wanted to do was twist around and take a swing at his fucking idiot of hired muscle.

“ _Eren_ ,” Levi tried again. This time he reached a little, not with his hands, but with his thoughts. He thought of Eren, he thought of a wall between them and the noise. He had no ruttin’ clue how the hell any of this shit worked, but he’d try anything if it helped.

(He would try everything, if it helped. He would take them back to Siren, take them into every Alliance run hospital and take the whole place hostage, if Mikasa thought she could help her brother with one of those fucking machines.

But Eren didn’t want that. Had expressed, with a tremble of his lips and glossy bright eyes, that he didn’t want to put anyone in danger because of his fucked up head.

Some days Levi wondered how he’d ever thought he had buried his heart in a ruttin’ valley when Eren said shit like that.)

Finally, after several long seconds of Levi _reaching_ , all his thoughts focused on _Eren_ and _calm_ and _don’t ruttin’ kill Jean even though he ruttin’ deserves it_ , Eren blinked, eyes focusing on Levi’s face.

“L-“

Eren voice was small, hoarse like he was the one shouting at the ruttin’ ceiling like he was trying to be heard by the whole Alliance. Didn’t even make it past the first syllable of Levi’s name, which scraped Levi’s own throat raw with the force of how much he _felt._ He tried to keep a clear mind more than ever, swallowing and nodding to acknowledge he’d heard Eren.

“I’m here, Eren,” Levi said, clear as cloudless skies, level as he could manage with the shouting still sounding out behind him. He tried to block it out, tried to keep it far from his headspace, and Eren blinked, swaying toward him for a second before flinching back. Levi didn’t let it bother him any. “Where we at, Eren?”

“Bad,” Eren managed, strangled. But then, like a dam broke, his lips started to tremble and he gasped. “ _Bad_ , bad, _bad bad bad_ , bad-“

Levi nodded and kept nodding, slow and gentle, leaning forward to Eren until he flinched back again. It was getting harder by the second to not embed his fist all the way down Jean’s fucking throat and rip out his vocal chords, but Eren needed him and that was enough to keep Levi in check. “Bad day,” Levi repeated, ducking a little to catch Eren’s gaze when he tried to drop his eyes to the floor. “That’s okay. Want to try the shoe trick?”

“What the _ruttin’-_

“ _Jean_ ,” Hanji said, even and cheerful and yet still somehow low enough their tone scraped the topmost layer of Hell itself. Finally Jean shut the ruttin’ hell up.

Eren made a sound, not quite a word or even a proper syllable, but Levi was patient. He waited, eyes locked with those green orbs Eren called eyes (and Levi called gemstones in his most poetic ruttin’ moments) until, slowly, Eren nodded.

“Alright,” Levi said, before Eren could do something like say _please_ or _sorry_ and break not only Levi’s heart but also his resolve not to touch him in two. He nodded once more, eyes still locked with Eren’s as he cleared his throat. “You go relieve Armin in the ‘pit then, keep us on course to our next job.”

“No relieving necessary, sir,” Armin piped up. Eren flinched, eyes darting round all skittish, and Levi bit his tongue on a swear as he stepped to the side to catch Eren’s gaze again. “Uh, I’m, uh-“

“ _Eren_ ,” Levi called softly. Green eyes slid to him and Levi reached again, thinking about the pilot’s seat, the way it felt and the way the room felt with Eren there, just the two of them late when everyone else was all tucked in their bunks. Eren’s eyes flickered across his face, but he still looked uneasy.

“Go take care of our course,” Levi repeated. Eren shifted, lip curling like he was expecting a hit.

Levi didn’t need to turn round to know Jean was making a face at the back of his head, didn’t need a credit to his name to bet it was the horse-faced bastard’s thoughts keeping Eren on edge. He didn’t want to, but he turned, putting his back to Eren and facing head his ruttin’ useless crew.

“Go to the ‘pit, Eren,” Levi repeated, marching toward Jean, who went from sullen and glowering to looking mighty terrified mighty quick. He back pedaled, hands up, but not even the good foot and a half difference in their heights could stop Levi from grabbing Jean by his head and yanking his head down until his chin knocked against his chest.

“And all of _you_ ,” Levi said, even and ringing, listening to the faint squeak as Eren climbed the steps and quickly fled. He held Jean in place, feeling him tremble, in anger and in fear. He knew better than to jerk outta Levi’s reach and that was the only reason he was still a part of this gorram crew some days. “Look at your shoes.”

“Our-“

“Do _not_ ruttin’ speak,” Levi interrupted, knowing Ymir was boiling to throttle him for snapping as Krista. He was going to feel mighty sorry for that later, if this worked. “Just look at your gorram shoes. Focus on your gorram ruttin’ shoes. Do not think loud like and do not think about nothing that ain’t connected to your _gorram ruttin’ shoes_. Hanji will tell you all when you’re free to go about your lives all normal like.”

No one protested. That was a good thing, because the air lock was _right there_ and Levi had dealt with too much of this shit already, to the point where not even _Krista_ was going to get a gorram pass if she said anything. But nobody spoke and as the seconds ticked by heads started dropping, chins bumping against chests as everyone fell to stare at their shoes. Levi lingered, watching them for a handful of minutes, trying to read from their downturned expressions if any of them were actually taking this shit seriously. When he was satisfied that they all were, he turned and left, taking everything slow to keep from making a distracting racket as he crossed the ship to the cockpit where he’d sent Eren.

Eren was sitting hunched over in the pilot’s seat, his head bent over the controls with tense intent. He didn’t lift his head when Levi knocked his knuckles gently against the door jam, but he did turn, eyes staring at Levi’s shoes, expression glummer than a bird who ain’t been in the skies for a while. Levi’s heart clenched, his chest aching as Eren slid from the chair, eyes dark, fingers twitching at his sides as he worked his throat ‘round words that didn’t come.

“Hey,” Levi said quietly. He stepped into the cockpit proper, pulling the metal door shut behind him until the rest of the world was all shut out. Eren didn’t relax and Levi wondered for a second if he shouldn’t have shut the door, but when he took a step forward, Eren swayed forward and there was no flinch, which was as good a sign as any Levi’d seen. “What do you need?”

“ _Levi_ ,” Eren said. He reached for Levi and Levi pressed himself forward into Eren’s warm shaking hands, snaking his arms around Eren’s back. He wasn’t bothered a bit when he found himself pressed down into the pilot’s chair with Eren wedged between his legs on the ground, face pressed against his thigh.

“I’ve got you,” Levi murmured, planting his boots firmly on either side of Eren’s body, stroking one hand down his back and the other slipping to card through his unruly hair. Eren went limp under his hands, trembling only in little shivers every couple of minutes, but otherwise still. Levi sat there, stroking his back and petting his hair, trusting that Eren had put the ship on auto-pilot when he’d heard Levi coming.

“You’re gonna be alright,” Levi promised, his voice thick in his throat, gravel trapping his tongue and making it hard to speak. He cleared his throat, bending down until he was like a shield, like this was a battlefield and he was ready to die for Eren.

Fingers tightened, one hand curling against Levi’s thigh, near his hip, while the other curled into the back of Levi’s shirt, one of Eren’s fingers catching in his suspenders and pulling it taught. Eren was making a noise, sort of a breathless wheeze in his throat, and Levi sighed, realizing he’d strayed like a wandering cow in a big ol’ field.

“Don’t die for me,” Eren said, throat croaking around the words. He craned his head up, eyes sparkling, more gorgeous than the whole depths of space, the big black above them stretching endlessly, and Levi didn’t need to search it all to know there was nothing else in the whole ‘verse he needed, now that he’d met Eren. Eren’s face contorted, lip wobbling something fierce, and Levi slid his hands up to cradle his face, wiping his thumb through the track of a lone tear as it traced the crest of Eren’s cheek.

“Ain’t gonna make no promises I can’t be sure to keep,” Levi said, pressing the accent, talking like he hadn’t since Isabel was still alive and kicking her feet at the dinner table on their mother’s ranch. It usually made Eren laugh, the ghost that burrowed in his mouth and itched to curl his tongue around vowels, twitching to cut off the edge of words to get straight to the point, clipped and slow as molasses.

Eren didn’t laugh though, just clung, nails digging into Levi’s skin under his clothes. Levi pressed closer, bringing his knees in against Eren’s shoulders, swiping his thumb along Eren’s jaw.

“I can promise you this, though,” he added softly. “No power in this gorram ‘verse will ever keep me from you. Not the ruttin’ Alliance, not the ruttin’ Reavers, _nothing_ , Eren, will keep me from bein’ right here, right by your side.”

Eren’s eyelashes fluttered, kissing his cheeks the way Levi wanted to, gentle, dusting kisses again and again against red-tinted golden skin. He turned his head, nuzzling his nose against Levi’s palm, his shaky breath tickling against the webbing of Levi’s fingers, sending a tingle down his spine.

“Kiss me,” Eren requested quietly, barely a murmur. Levi bit his tongue on a question, a confirmation of _you sure?_ , trusting Eren as he bent the last few inches down. Eren trembled as he neared, a shudder tracing his spine as Levi brushed his lips across Eren’s hair, pressing them against his temples, against the crest of his cheek, the ridge of his nose before finally landing his lips against Eren’s with a whisper of a sigh.

Eren met him, nose sliding against his own, mouth forming the shape of a word with no weight, one that felt like a prayer against Levi’s mouth. It was the only prayer Levi believed in anymore, Eren with his lips, sweeter than a strawberry, filling his lungs with a lightness he’d only felt before in moments after that first step off his girl after a long time up in the black, fresh air and blue skies as far as the eye could see. Eren beat that though, beat that feeling black and blue, tossed it in the corner, making Levi’s head spin like the anti-grav had gone offline.

Levi tipped his head to the side, slotted their lips together, solid and sure in his movements, and Eren responded, rising to meet him. One second Levi was bent near in half, chin tipped down to kiss Eren, and the next he his back was hitting the back of the chair as Eren surged upward until Levi had a lap full of his brilliant, incredible, love. Eren’s weight pressed down into him, knees digging against the outsides Levi’s hips, and Levi let him take the lead, his chin tipped up now, his hands still cradling Eren’s face.

He could feel the moment Eren centered himself inside the kiss, inside the quiet of the ‘pit. Felt the tension bleed out of his shoulders, the heartbeat underneath Levi’s fingers evening out. Levi felt the ghost-kiss of Eren’s eyelashes as he blinked, tickling his cheeks as Eren pressed impossibly close, their kiss turning into a sharing of breaths instead.

“You okay,” Levi asked, despite his earlier resolve to trust Eren. His words were half-breathed, half-pressed against Eren’s mouth, still close enough Levi could feel how his chapped, warm, wonderful lips pulled into a smile. Eren’s hands were restless against Levi’s sides, dragging up his ribs, fingers tangled purposefully in his suspenders and tugging on them, teasingly and light.

“Yeah,” Eren answered, kissing Levi to punctuate the statement. “I’m getting there.” There was a pause, a flutter of eyelashes against Levi’s cheek, and the smile that pressed invitingly against Levi’s mouth curled coyly at the corners.

“I’d be even better if you kissed me,” Eren murmured. Levi snorted, hand sliding to cradle the back of Eren’s head, chest tight as Eren nuzzled against his cheek.

Shit still needed to be taken care of, to be fixed; _Eren_ wasn’t fixed, though Eren didn’t _need_ to be fixed, but he was stable and that was enough. There was still the mess in the hold to sort out, but, well, that shit could wait, in Levi’s opinion.

“Well,” Levi drawled, “if you _insist_.”

Eren’s laughter was warm, trembling and alive, just like he was; brilliant and bright and beautiful, in every sense, the most incredible sound Levi had heard. He couldn't help but swallowed the sound, figured it was the source of the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest as Eren licked his way into Levi’s mouth, kissing him dizzy once more.

 

-

 

(Levi’d been talking, as useless as his explaining was. He’d been talking about the ship; about the ‘pit, and what was connected to it, and what the controls did, and how they sometimes got a little funky, and how one would get them un-funky, if one was so inclined. His audience of one already knew all this shit, had probably figured it all out before Levi had even told him the first time, but Eren had said listening to Levi helped him center himself, and it had been a Bad Day and Levi was willing to recite poetry, if Eren had asked.

Slowly, as he talked, the figure curled up in the co-pilot seat had unwound, tension bleeding out of his shoulders. Eren was a network of clear body signals Levi had been taken careful notes of since he’d slid in his space and curled their fingers together. Sometimes he liked to think he could tell what Eren was thinking in that brilliant beautiful brain of his, but most of the time Levi knew he was fooling himself with that particular train; Eren was _brilliant_ , a bonafide gorram genius, and Levi himself was just a ranch boy who’d thrown himself into the losing side of a war. There ain’t no way Levi knew what was actually going on in there, not unless Eren gave him a clue.

Eren, though, seemed inclined to clues. Had, at some point during Levi’s train of thought, slid from his seat and glided over, leaning in Levi’s space, his golden skin warm looking in the light from the screens. His eyes had glimmered, bright and green, gorgeous and twinkling, like whoever’d hung the stars had put a few in there special for whoever Eren gazed at to enjoy. Levi loved the sight of them, had swallowed, cutting off mid-sentence as Eren tipped his head toward Levi.

“Sorry,” Eren had said, his lips falling lopsided in some kind of smile, “but I couldn’t see what screen you were talkin’ about from over there”. He had sounded a few steps short of coy, his pitch higher than usual. Levi’s stomach had clenched, his heart lurching as Eren bent nearly in half over the edge of the console, draping himself closer as Eren arched his eyebrows at Eren’s statement. There had been a pause, Eren biting his lips, cheeks bleeding pink, and then his hand at snaked out and Levi had swallowed at the feeling of warm, trembling fingers sliding gently against his pulse.

“Eren,” he had asked, just as softly as he could.

Eren had huffed a little laugh, squared his shoulders, and then kissed him, a quick little peck, like some little Core lady’s passing fancy. Levi could have blinked and would have thought he’d imagined it, the way Eren had smiled, straightening too quick, everything in him projecting _flight_ , and Levi had moved before he could think, hand shooting out to grab Eren’s wrist. He had kept his grip light, easier to break free of than a wet piece of paper, but Eren had stayed put, Eren’s growing wide as Levi licked his lips and swallowed.

“Anything you need,” Levi had said, voice rough, “you just gotta ask.”

Eren had blinked, something Levi couldn’t follow going on behind those eyes. “And, uh. What about something I want, but don’t, in the strictest sense, according to some people, um. _Need_?”

An expelling of Levi’s body had happened, a breath had been taken so deep he could feel the way his ribs caged his lungs, his thundering heart hopping up to lodge itself in his closing over throat. He had swallowed, blinked, wondered for a second if he was dreaming before he’d thrown that thought away.

“Anything you _want_ ,” Levi had said, slow and careful, trying to find his heart inside him, under years of pain, to wear on his sleeve instead. Scarred and battered, but if Eren wanted him, ruttin’ hell, he couldn’t say no. Wouldn’t say no, not to anything Eren wanted, anything Eren needed. He swallowed, licked his lips, and Eren’s eyes had followed the motion, his whole hand trembling in Levi’s grip.

“Anything you want, Eren,” he repeated. “You just gotta ask.”

Stillness had hung heavy, something thick and tangible between them, Eren’s eyes dancing across Levi’s face and Levi’s heart doing its best to beat him into an early grave. But then, with a flutter of lashes that kissed Eren’s cheeks, the way Levi had never dreamed he might one day be allowed to, Eren’s lopsided something-of-a-smile bloomed into something else, something crooked and small, with pink stained cheeks.

Eren’s hand twisted, turning in Levi’s to tangle their fingers together, and then, with a clearing of his throat, Eren had asked, “can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Levi had said, clear and quick, enough so that Eren laughed, just a little. And then, with an expression of intense concentration that made Levi’s chest constrict, Eren had bent to kiss him once more, his hand steady and still where his fingers were tangled with Levi’s own.)

**Author's Note:**

> posting this and then zoomin' off to work, I hope y'all liked it! if you've got any questions, lemme know c:


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